Clark Kent - glasses = Superman

Now, I will admit that I know nothing about Superman, except for what I've learned from watching 2 or 3 episodes of Smallville: he is brunette; he can run and fly real fast; kryptonite is bad; he's a fan of alliteration.

What I did not know is that everyone around him is RETARDED.


SUPERMAN: Hello, Lois.


LOIS LANE: Hello, Superman! *swoon*


SUPERMAN: I...I have something to tell you, Lois. I've been keeping a secret from you and I just can't do it any longer. I...I'm Clark Kent.


SUPERMAN: See? I just put on these glasses...and smooth out my hair...and ta-da! Goodbye Man of Steel, hello nerdy impotent reporter!


LOIS LANE: OMG!!!!!11!!1!


LOIS LANE: Clark, you just missed him! Superman was TOTALLY JUST HERE OMG!!!




SUPERMAN: I'm not sure you understand me, Lois. I AM Superman. AND Clark Kent. Clark Kent and Superman - same guy. Clark is just my alter-ego. A disguise. A façade, if you will.


LOIS LANE: Where'd Clark go? Oh well. Superman, you're back! *swoon*


KEVIN SPACEY: I'm Kevin Spacey!

Home Alone 4: Lazy in Lansdale

I'm on Day 5 of My Family Is In London Week. It has been fairly successful. Saturday night I had a small, but fun and drunken, party. The next day I did mad loads of laundry (that's right, I used "mad" as a synonym for "many," get used to it) and cleaned and an unnamed someone who I do not feel like talking to for awhile threw up in my car. Yeah. Since then I have pretty much just been really tired, babysitting and doing training shit at Macy's and unwisely parking my car in the garage where I cannot back it out for fear of hitting my father's gigantic Volvo.

I thought I'd be more freaked out staying in the house by myself for so long, but it's not bad. I do keep all the doors locked pretty much all the time, and I set the alarm at night. But I've been able to sleep just fine. The only thing that I found strange was the lamp in my parents' bedroom that was suddenly on last night even though I'd never touched it. And it was turned off this morning, again with me never touching it, although that could just be the lightbulb burning out. Be gone, Lamp Ghost!

American Doobies

1. I went to a free Doobie Brothers concert last night. ROCKIN'! They played for about an hour and a half, which is the same amount of time it took me to get out of the parking lot.

2. In a related note, Taylor Hicks of American Idol fame has released the hit single he sang in the show's finale onto iTunes ("Do I Make You Proud?"), along with a cover of the Doobies' own "Takin It To The Streets." He also has a very ugly insignia up on his sort-of existant website:



Hire a new graphics designer, Hicks.

Since American Idol has ended for the season and all, I'm a little late here, but what is the deal with that show? It's this huge television phenomenon and yet the winners (save for Kelly Clarkson, but the exception proves the rule) hardly make a blip on the music industry, as far as I can tell. The show is entirely constructed around finding America's Next Top Pop Balladeer, but pop ballads aren't popular anymore. Everything on the radio is a derivative rap/hip-hop song or a derivative "punk" "anthem." There is no longer a demand for pure derivative pop. Britney and Xtina figured that out years ago ("Toxic"? "Dirrrty"?) It's time that American Idol gets with the program and makes the next winner release the bumpin' R&B track "(Did I Give You) Herrrpes?"

EDIT:

From one of the user reviews on iTunes, entitled "Wow...Um, no":

His songs are a wierd (sic) mix of old gospel and whiny vocals, and what is up with the titles?? How tacky are these! "Takin it to the Streets"???????????????????

Is it possible to punch somebody through a computer screen? Not that the Doobie Brothers are an American icon or anything, but come on.

it's too hot in my room.

Yesterday I went to Dorney Park with my AUSEPA pals (that is, American University Southeastern Pennsylvania pals!) It was very fun, especially when CO unintentionally flashed the Steel Force cameras. The evidence of her Elaine-Benes-moment was purchased and should appear on Facebook within the next few days. Good times! Very wholesome!

In related news, Pizza Hut is possibly the most awesomely crap restaurant ever. We got 5 sodas, 10 breadsticks, and 2 large pizzas for $30! $30! Shared among 5 people! Amazing. We were welcomed there, sunburn and frizzy hair and my wet pants (shoulda taken them off on the river raft ride) and all.

employ'd!

I finally got a job! Sort of. ER had a babysitting job lined up for the summer but can't do it anymore because of her internship/other job/mono. So she referred me to the woman and she called me today. I'm going over to meet the mother/kid and babysit for a few hours on Tuesday. It's going to be around 15 hours a week, but possibly (hopefully) more.

ER said she was getting $10/hr for this, but the woman asked me how much I charge over the phone, and I didn't have the time to think, "Oh, I should lie," and I just said $6 or $7 because that's true! I don't know what kind of shitty babysitting jobs I had in high school, but I never got paid much more than $5/hr. Maybe $6. I got paid more at Sears. Ugh.

Then again, I am kind of a terrible babysitter. I've never had a kid die or get lost or anything, but my method of dealing with them is to let them wander off while I watch TBS. I tend to keep interaction to a minimum. That's not gonna fly this summer, though, because A) I'll be spending 15 hours a week with this kid (an 8-year-old named Joanie), and B) I'm also supposed to sort of tutor her in math and English. Oh...kay. Not that I mind, but I feel bad for the poor 2nd grader whose mom is going to make her do math worksheets all summer.

okay so...

I take that back. Friday night ended up being fun.

bored

Can it be August now. Pleeeeease. I don't have a job and I don't have anything else to do. It's Friday and as far as I know I'm going to spend the whole night sitting around. I WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

happy birthday

Today (...yesterday) was my 19th birthday! Actually it was mega-boring but I received two super-awesome gifts: a new tv and a new digital camera!

I needed the new camera because I fuxed mine up in like, February, at a club. The thing was only 8 months old and I had paid $350 for it. I was going to just buy myself a new one but my dad surprised me and actually bought it for me. Thanks daddy!

I needed a tv because my old one is 10+ years old, quite small, and does not hook up to a DVD player. It kind of sucked because all year I had to watch movies on my computer (or find someone else with a DVD player who would watch with me.) So next year I'll provide the tv, Roomie (formerly known as SK, she's now officially Roomie) will provide the DVD player, and all will be right with the world.

Conclusion...I'm spoiled.

In other news I will be going to NYC June 24 with VS and ER and I'm excited! VS is writing an article about some south-Asian frat event and her parents didn't want her going alone so the 3 of us are going to stay overnight in the city and have an awesome time.

more adventures in facebook marketing

Ads are popping up on Facebook for cinnamon. "Make your food tasty with cinnamon." Cinnamon?

1. "Make your food tasty." Catchy!
2. Is it necessary to buy cinnamon online? Is it not readily available at your local grocery store?
3. Are college students really that unaware of cinnamon? "Salt: It tastes good on fries!"